Thursday, July 19, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Newly Elected UCS Excited To Enact Groundbreaking Legislation No One Outside of UCS Will Ever Hear About

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

The newly elected Undergraduate Council of Students, the oldest college student government in the United States, is excited to push for important changes to the University that almost no students will pay attention to.

“This is apparently important, but I don’t think any of us will pay attention,” said junior Dara Lang, who feels that Brown could probably improve in a few ways, but does not feel motivated to become involved in the changes. “Though they seem excited about it, and that’s probably what really matters.”

Members of the incoming council are excited to push for change in University policy and campus life, very little of which will ever be recognized by their peers. Polls of student opinion show that while many students agree with these measures, they don’t care enough to pay attention to their implementation.

“I’m not sure what UCS is,” said sophomore Jack Ritter, who added that he thought he was voting for class board when he cast his votes for UCS. “Are they the people who plan Gala? They did a really good job with that.”

“I guess I could start reading the Brown Daily Herald to learn about UCS, ” Ritter added, “but I’m definitely not going to put myself through that.”

In a statement released later, the newly elected Undergraduate Finance Board expressed their excitement to make changes to Brown that students are afraid will lead to their clubs being defunded.

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