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The Brown Noser

News Anchor’s Catchphrase Just Him Choking On Water

Published Friday, December 4th, 2015

After taking a sip from his mug and looking at the teleprompter for his next line, anchorman Brett McDune ended Warwick’s evening news program by choking on water. This marks the ninth consecutive broadcast in which he’s signed off by choking on and spitting out a small amount of water.

“I really thought I had it that time,” sputtered McDune, face red with embarrassment. “Oh no, it got all over the news desk again. Does anyone have a towel?”

Sources confirm that the choking has become a de facto catchphrase for McDune, who never gets to say anything between the sip and the program going off air. Although producers have urged McDune to try the signoff without taking a sip of water, the anchor insists that he needs the water to make sure he’ll get through the signoff without stumbling.

“Oh gosh, this is so embarrassing,” says McDune, wiping spittle off his face for the ninth night in a row. “Next time guys! We just have to keep doing what we’re doing.”

At press time, McDune began a joke about the double meaning of “choking on air” but was unable to get to the punchline because he choked on air.

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