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The Brown Noser

Newscaster Loudly Exclaims “What?” After Reading Each Story

Published Friday, March 6th, 2015

Noting that he’s almost always bewildered by what he’s reading, newscaster Rodney Dilfert loudly exclaims “What?” after reading every story.

“The Fairfax County school board has reportedly decided to ban all saturated fats from their lunches,” said Dilfert during a broadcast, scrunching his eyes in confusion. “What the? Saturated fats? Why would they do that?”

Dilfert reportedly adds incredulous remarks after reading nearly every headline, and will frequently get up from his desk and throw up his in hands in disbelief following even the most rudimentary stories. Dilfert will also shout “Really?” or “Seriously?” during interviews with locals, and frequently pauses while reading from the teleprompter, astonished by what it says.

“President Obama visited a Northern Virginia diner today to talk to locals about economic development in the area?” Dilfert said as he brought his hands to the top of his head in amazement. “What is going on? A diner!? But he’s the president! I don’t believe this.”

Producers on the show noted that, though they find his interruptions to be annoying and unprofessional, Dilfert’s show is by far the most watched local news program in the United States.

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