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The Brown Noser

No One at Modern Dance Show Sure Whether Falling Off Stage and Crying Part of Performance

Published Friday, September 6th, 2013

Following reports that a performer at tonight’s “Dance Extension” show had fallen off the stage and begun to cry, sources have confirmed that no one at the performance is certain whether the gruesome fall was an accident or some kind of sly, Brechtian choice on part of the director.

“Everything was great, and then she came down hard on her right shoulder,” said one audience member. “Now she’s sobbing loudly and screaming for help, but everyone else is still dancing."

“Actually, she might be grinning,” he added. "Or is that grimacing? I’m not sure. We’re just sticking tight and watching as if nothing is happening.”

“She’s kind of like flailing around and squealing and rolling onto her side,” said another audience member, who described her convulsions as either hilarious or desperately sad.

“Now she’s just laying there motionless," he added. "Gee, I hope she’s alright. It could be a brilliant performance. Then again, I didn’t really have any idea what was going on in the first place.”

At press time, audience members were again forced to question reality when a swarm of African killer bees flew into the theater and began stinging their victims in the eyeballs.

“Ugh,” remarked one audience member. “Audience interaction is the worst.”

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