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The Brown Noser

OMAC Testing Center Devolves Into Chaos After DOB Incorrect On Student Barcode

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

In a scene marred by heavy smoke from on-fire printers, a terrified medical staff, and debris from a collapsing ceiling, the OMAC COVID Testing Center has devolved into a state of unbridled chaos after a student’s date of birth was listed incorrectly on her barcode sheet.

“When the woman at the front asked me to confirm by birthday, for some reason they had it marked that I was born on the 26th of January instead of the 27th,” recounted freshman Carrie Johnson. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Oh god, I didn’t think it would be a big deal! I was so wrong.”

When Johnson pointed out the error in the barcode, every OMAC worker fell into an immediate silence, freezing in their spots entirely. Strained smiles covered a deep dread. With a mixture of fear and grave acceptance, the OMAC worker who printed the barcode pressed a button at the bottom of her folding table.

“A blaring siren went off and the entire center started to fall apart,” Johnson said from the back of an open ambulance wrapped in a silver blanket over a paper cup of hot chocolate. “Tubes of nasal swabs flew everywhere; Q tips fell like arrows. People turned on each other. I still never got my results.”

After the dust settled, Johnson updated her personal information before she got her test results back and the entire Verily system imploded.

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