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The Brown Noser

Obama Marks Biden’s Height On White House Wall For Final Time

Published Friday, March 11th, 2016

With less than a year left in his presidency, President Barack Obama marked Vice President Joe Biden’s height on the White House wall for the final time last Wednesday.

“Joe had already had his big growth spurt before we moved in here so there isn’t much of a difference between each measurement,” said Obama, adding that he often just retraces the mark he made the previous time. “But that doesn’t take away from how much I enjoy doing this with him. Seeing that one, thick slash on the Red Room doorway really makes this place feel like home.”

The activity has become a tradition during Obama’s eight-year residence in the White House. Sources close to the President report that Sasha and Malia used to participate in the tradition as well. The last lines on The Red Room doorway initialed SO and MO date back to 2013, the year the teenagers reportedly told their dad they were too old for that sentimental kind of stuff. Those initialed VEEP, however, last through 2016.

“Over these last two terms, Joe’s grown up right in front of my eyes,” said Obama. “I’ll really miss moments like these where we can just chat and catch up. I won’t miss having to keep reminding him not to stand on his tippy-toes, though.”

After the measurement was recorded at an even six feet (an eighth of an inch higher than the previous mark), Obama and Biden sat down for a midday snack and reminisced about their last eight years together. Both men said they’d always remember their games of catch on the White House lawn, their camping trips to Camp David, and that time they restored the original Air Force One together.

“I know a bunch of Vice Presidents whose Presidents never spend time with them because they’re too busy with work,” said Biden while shaving side by side with Obama in the bathroom mirror, “So every time Barack takes the time out of his day to do something like measure me, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have a President like him.”

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