Sunday, October 25, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Octopuses Around The World Biding Their Time

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

Sources reported that octopuses across the world are currently biding their time.

According to eyewitnesses, octopuses didn’t appear to be working toward any specific goals but clearly weren’t idle or clueless. The highly intelligent marine invertebrates, who exhibit complex sensory and nervous systems, simply appeared to be intently waiting and possibly preparing for something.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” said octopus researcher Ken Oort, nervously adjusting his tie. “I mean, what could they be up to? Of course, they seem to be biding their time right now, but it couldn’t possibly be important. It couldn’t possibly mean anything…”

“I guess we’ll have to see,” Oort concluded, making tense, extended eye contact with several octopuses in his laboratory’s aquarium tank. “Let me just make sure I locked the top of the tank.”

As Oort traveled home that night and slept in his bed, the octopuses continued to wait.

At press time, the plan was going perfectly.

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