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The Brown Noser

Office Of Residential Life Quietly Installs Swipe Pads On All Jewelry District Buildings In Overnight Take-Over

Published Friday, April 29th, 2016

As part of Brown’s 10-year Building on Distinction Plan for university expansion, the Office of Residential Life quietly installed swipe pads on all Jewelry District buildings between the hours of 2 and 4 a.m. this morning. The installations rendered the buildings inaccessible without a Brown ID.

“The operation was successful and the district is ours,” University Chancellor Russell Carey declared in an email to the Brown community. He explained that administrators began planning the acquisition after he walked by the district and thought, “Hmm, we should have that,” one afternoon in early 2013. “The district will soon be home to two engineering buildings, a second science library, and a couple buildings with greenhouses on their roofs.”

Sarah Denhart, owner of Synergy Health and Fitness, told reporters that she awoke to a strange email from the university that said her building could only be accessed from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with a Brown ID. “Then, when I got to work, I was locked out,” Denhart said, “and a group of Brown graduate students were inside exercising on the Synergy equipment.”

Senior Associate Dean of Residential Life Richard Bova confirmed that Residential Life staff completed the operation smoothly with the help of a private security company the university hires for land acquisitions. “One team did encounter some difficulty at Rick’s Roadhouse Barbecue,” he told reporters, “but they quickly subdued the problem.”

Following the announcement, Bova sent out another email informing students that the University will still not be able to house all juniors.

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