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The Brown Noser

Older Brother Set Bar Pretty Low For What Mom Will Hang Up On Fridge

Published Friday, March 17th, 2017

Eyeing her older brother’s subpar fourth grade report card, second grader Anna Keenan came to the conclusion that the bar is set pretty low for what her mom will hang up on the fridge.

“I have a spelling test this Friday, but I’m pretty sure I can just phone this one in,” said Anna, explaining that her mom’s policy with her brother Jason has just been to hang up anything he brings home from school. “He’s set an example and by his standard, I don’t even need to get a ‘check plus’ on this test. I’ll just scrape out a ‘check’, and up on the fridge it’ll go."

“The quality of the artwork I’ve seen hung up has been especially poor,” said Anna, adding that often it’s not even anything Jason’s drawn himself but just a page from a coloring book he’s colored in. “Sometimes, I think about trying to draw real bodies, not just stick figures. But then I think to myself, why even bother? It doesn’t have to be stellar to get Mom’s seal of approval.”

At press time, Mrs. Keenan was trying to find a magnet to hang up one of the ungraded worksheets Anna had done for homework.

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