Partly Cloudy, 64°
After booking an On-Call Shuttle late Friday evening while drunk and stranded on Ives Street, Sheila Meyer ‘24 reported that the shuttle’s time of arrival was estimated between anon and far hence.
“Anon! Anon thy shuttle appears, but surely no past far hence,” stated the ETA to Meyer, shivering on the curbside of Captain Seaweed’s Pub. “Fret not! For anon is nigh, thus closer is far hence!”
“Betwixt the hour of the moon’s blue light anon and the eve of the mighty Eastern Gale far hence twill sow thy shuttle,” clarified the answering machine of Transloc’s provided contact number, which Meyer desperately called for assistance. “Bide thy time ‘til morrow delivers thee safely to thy dwelling.”
When the shuttle finally arrived, the driver drove past Meyer’s stop, claimed to not see her, then drove off off yonder.
