Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Only Thing That Could Further Decrease BDH’s Readership Happens

Published Friday, April 24th, 2020

The only thing that could further decrease the BDH’s readership has happened, sources reported.

“To be honest, we always thought we were already at the rock bottom number of readers,” said editor-in-chief Sara Plonk ’20, amazed that the paper’s readership could fall below no one picking up any copies. “We figured the only way our audience could conceivably shrink even more was if, say for example, no one was allowed on campus. But we never thought anything like that could ever happen.”

While the Herald is technically still publishing, the staff agrees that not clicking on an article just isn’t the same as not reading the print issue they handed to you against your will. Plonk worries about the ability of students to function without ready access to the paper, which is widely regarded as not the backbone of the student body.

At press time, the staff of the Indy have had a smoother transition into quarantine life by creating a full page, mixed media feature consisting solely of the inspirational quotes written on their fridge magnets.

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