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The 2024 Academy Awards have announced a move to recover from a longstanding tradition of racism with thoughtfully selected sexism.
“As a top institution in the entertainment industry, we acknowledge the harm that our racist legacy has caused on creators of color throughout history, and we intend to not only fix this injustice but commit another injustice in its place,” said Academy CEO Bill Kramer, encouraging all female creators to be courteously removed from consideration in racial solidarity. “We sincerely vow to replace our policies of racial preference with a new policy of gender preference that is not defined by the color of one’s skin.”
“Whether you are Black, white, Asian, or Latinx, everyone will only be discriminated against for being a woman,” continued Kramer, considerately placing all non-male awards in the least desirable time slots to make racial equality history. “Unfortunately, women of color will still be less favored than white women, but I can guarantee they will be the most represented in our advertising. And that’s a real win for Oscars history.”
At press time, analysts report the Oscars haven’t recovered from racism.
