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Reporters recently uncovered that pathetic mom Dana Williams is still doing the Wordle, perhaps clinging to a bygone era to assuage her fears of death and loss of youth.
“Playing the Wordle is one of my favorite things,” said Williams while actively typing “ANVIL” into her daily Wordle. “I just love to stretch my brain and challenge myself. And everyone is excited to see how I did every day. It makes such a fulfilling routine, and I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of it!”
“I’m getting really concerned,” said Williams’s son Wyatt, who recently took his mother to the emergency room after a near-fatal planking accident. “Like, she is the only person I know who still does the Wordle every single day. She even sends me a screenshot when she’s finished, and I have to respond with ‘great work!’ or something like that. It’s unnerving.”
“She is honestly pretty much the only person who is still doing it,” said Jonathan Knight, senior vice president and head of games at the New York Times. “Everyone in the office gathers around my computer to see what guesses she made every day because we’re just so amused that someone is still playing this game, which hasn’t been popular in over three years. She’s actually getting pretty good. She got ‘opine’ the other day in only two tries.”
At press time, Williams was seen consuming a Tide Pod while doing the “Gangnam Style” dance.
