Enzo's articles
Last Friday, a local Providence family’s deuteranopia, a color vision deficiency, thwarted their apple picking outing.
“The apples were not very accessible to those of us with colorblindness," said father Hugo Graham, who never felt so debilitated by his condition.
Reporters recently uncovered that pathetic mom Dana Williams is still doing the Wordle, perhaps clinging to a bygone era to assuage her fears of death and loss of youth.
“Playing the Wordle is one of my favorite things,” said Williams while actively typing “ANVIL” into her daily Wordle.
Sources from inside PHIL 1576: Pornography claim that sophomore Gene Johnson is still fully clothed almost 15 minutes after the start of class.
“It’s really weird,” said Michael Acardi 29’, Johnson’s roommate and Pornography Studies concentrator.
Sources confirmed that the Photos app on Jennifer Jefferson’s iPhone created a montage of the final photos of beloved family cat, Fluffy, before she was taken out of her misery in September.
“I accidentally tapped on the memory when I was trying to show a photo of a rash to my dermatologist,” said Jefferson, who shared that her phone had thoughtfully titled the montage “A Day In Philadelphia,” referring to the day when Fluffy was euthanized at the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine.
Sources claim that last night, Grandma commented “I miss you” under a Facebook post containing an AI-generated video of a cat eating an ice cream cone.
“You know, he was such a sweet boy, and I always liked him, that cute thing. He was so crafty, catching mice and bringing them to me.
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