Monday, December 23, 2024
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

POINT: Barack Obama’s Aggressive Neo-Imperialism Will Only Cause More Bloodshed, by Noam Chomsky. COUNTERPOINT: Alright Noam, Let’s Just Get It Over With and Fuck Already, by Barack Obama.

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2013

POINT: Barack Obama’s Aggressive Neo-Imperialism Will Only Cause More Bloodshed, by Noam Chomsky

In the wake of last week’s drone strike on the outskirts of Islamabad, more than 160 children are confirmed dead, casualties of Barack Obama’s commitment to violence and imperialism at home and abroad. This unchecked aggression is de rigeur for this administration, with the mangled bodies of innocents a small price to pay for the administration’s own political fortunes.

None of this is new; Obama is simply the latest in a long line of presidential war criminals. With typical callousness and disregard for human life, he and his bipartisan allies are content to plunge the world into a neverending bloodbath for the sake of the preservation of their own power.

Perhaps Barack Obama believes his constituents will compliantly accept his military adventures across the globe. But there just might come a time when we will no longer be content to sacrifice blood and treasure on the altar of the military-industrial complex. The president would do well to consider that.

COUNTERPOINT: Alright Noam, Let’s Just Get It Over With and Fuck Already, by Barack Obama

I think we’ve tiptoed around this long enough. You want this, I want this, the country’s been wanting this for years. Enough pussyfooting, Noam. Let’s just stop playing these games and fuck already.

You think I can’t see right through you? You’ve been prancing around with your flirty little condemnations for five years now, Noam. “Unchecked aggression?” “Mangled bodies?” Translation: you, in the Oval Office, khakis bunched around your wrinkly little anarcho-syndicalist ankles. That’s right.

You pacifistic little slut. You really didn’t have to go condemning me at the UN just to get my attention. C’mon, Noam, you can just shoot me a text. Forget about your precious dead Pakistanis. You think they can give you a fraction of what I can? Of course not. They’re dead from my drone strikes. Oh yeah they are. Mm hmm.

So let’s lay our cards on the table. I’m the president. You’re an outspoken leftist academic obsessed with my imperialistic warmongering. Do the math. Lincoln Bedroom. 10 minutes.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…