Partly Cloudy, 64°
POINT:
Ouch! What the hell? Oh, guess I’m dead now. At least I made it to bird heaven. I wonder if any other birds—no, that’s stupid. I bet every other bird here died from more normal causes, like a cat or that invisible wall on the big buildings that kills you instantly. But me? Death by stone, that’s just great. Loner in eternal paradise, who would’ve thought. But who the hell would throw a stone at me, anyway? Just to kill one single bird? It hardly seems worth it. But I guess it makes sense. One bird, one stone. That’s a pretty good ratio. Kind of like falling in combat, a real warrior’s death. Still, I doubt any other bird around here knows what it’s like to get knocked out of the sky by a thrown stone. Maybe that’s a good thing. At least I have an interesting story to tell all the other birds up here, doubt they’ve heard it before.
COUNTERPOINT:
Ok, this might sound crazy, but you know that stone that killed you? The big gray one? Well, after it hit you, it kept going for a little bit, didn’t lose that much speed at all, actually. How do I know? Well, why do you think I’m here in bird heaven with you? Exactly. Two birds, one stone. That asshole. Who would ever want to do that? Nobody sets out to kill two birds with one stone, he just got lucky. That’s what I think, at least. I’m not looking forward to what the rest of those birds are gonna say. “Oh there’s those two idiot birds who got killed by one stone.” Yeah, if it were just one of us I think they’d at least have sympathy. But now we’re just the dumb and dumber of the avian afterlife. But hey, a little eternal embarrassment is nothing. And plus, there’s worse ways to die! You hear about all those eggs that got put into that one basket? Gone. All of them at once. A real tragedy. That’s why you’re not supposed to do that.
