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The Brown Noser

Painful Party Much More Painful After Introduction of Cards Against Humanity

Published Friday, December 16th, 2022

Awkwardly sitting on the host’s living room carpet, sources report that an excruciatingly painful party has only become more painful after someone brought out Cards Against Humanity.

“It’s bad enough that I barely know most of these people, but now I have to listen to them make jokes about unicorn threesomes and Ronald Reagan’s nipples,” said attendee Wendy Welch, already brainstorming excuses to quietly leave before she had to be “judge.” “I think the guy next to me is cracking up just because his card has the word ‘gloryhole’ on it.”

“Some of them are taking this really seriously,” added Welch as two people got into a heated debate about whether “tentacle porn” or “tasteful sideboob” should have won the last round. “Oh jeez, they’re taking out an expansion pack with ‘The Office’ themed cards. I better get out while I still can.”

At press time, the group was agreeing that it was the perfect time to begin a game of Settlers of Catan.

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