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Biology concentrator Ross Mackey ‘11.5 claims to have made a substantial scientific discovery. While on a date in downtown Providence with a pair of breasts, Mackey began to suspect a hidden anatomical irregularity. Writes Mackey in his senior thesis: “The breasts were moving normally, but when I placed my hand on one of them, they rose and fell rapidly as if jolted by a quickened heartbeat and left the restaurant as though they had cognitively assessed the gesture as offensive.”
Despite widespread skepticism within the scientific community, Mackey postulates that, somehow, this pair of breasts is anatomically linked with an operational heart and brain. On the final page of Mackey’s thesis, he writes: “Page 2,” followed by a bar graph comparing “Boobs Or Not” with “How Many Hearts.”
