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The Brown Noser

Parents Realize Midway Through Campus Tour That They Actually Don’t Have Kids

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

Sources report that New Jersey couple Erik and McKenzie Sanford suddenly remembered halfway through their recent tour of Brown University’s campus that they didn’t have kids.

“I was asking the tour guide about the club baseball program,” explained Erik, “But when I looked around for my boy, I remembered that my wife and I made the call a long time ago not to have kids.”

The couple reported that Brown was the third stop on their weekend college road trip to some of the top schools in the northeast. Unfortunately, the trip had been planned prior to their realization that they had no kids.

“I have to say, the open curriculum seems like the perfect way for a student to really figure out their passion in life,” explained McKenzie. “Our child would absolutely love that—if we had one.”

“Oops.”

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