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The Brown Noser

Paxson Addresses Criticism With Thoughtful, Well-Articulated Food Truck

Published Friday, October 29th, 2021

Facing a barrage of criticism from the Brown community, President Christina Paxson has come forward and addressed these complaints with a thoughtful, well-articulated food truck.

“I am aware of the many accusations from our student body saying that I have acted in complete disregard of my own rules and school policies,” said Paxson in an email with the subject line FALL FEST 2021!! “And to that end, I’d like to offer my sincerest Lotus Pepper on the Main Green.”

President Paxson apologized that the Brown community felt this way and went out of her way to deliver this heartfelt food truck. She even promised to do better; maybe by throwing some cornhole and apple cider donuts into the mix.

“I know there is anger and resentment among our students, and, today, I want to say Mea Culpa,” continued the President’s email. “Mea Culpa is this sweet new Italian cart with many types of delicious pasta. Buon appetito.”

At press time, Christian Paxson expressed that she hears students’ concerns, and would like to extend her deepest Poppy’s Waffles.

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