Sunday, May 19, 2019
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The Brown Noser

Person With Flip Phone Either Way Cooler or Way Less Cool Than You

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

Witnesses report that the guy over there with a flip phone is either way cooler or way less cool than you. “I honestly just can’t tell how cool that guy is,” said Tom Moflin, a local onlooker. “At first I was like, ‘No way, that guy is like twenty years behind. His phone doesn’t even have a camera,’ until I totally turned back around and thought, ‘Whoa, maybe it’s some sort of meta-social commentary on the state of technological addiction in this decade.’ And in that case, he’s really fucking cool.” At press time, the guy pulled his flip phone from a belt holster, which only further confused judgment.

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