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Reports from an up-and-coming neighborhood indicate that Brennan Clark, local pickleball enthusiast, is really just in it for the gentrification.
“Yeah, this sport is honestly super boring and kind of a rip-off of tennis,” said Clark, holding his strange little racket. “But the chance to displace poor people is just too good to ignore.”
“Also, I think it’s so nice that we could convert all those dangerous, run-down basketball courts into good, safe pickleball courts,” added Clark, whose father is a local developer and landlord. “They were really attracting some seedy characters.”
“To be honest, if it were up to me, we’d have a Starbucks and a Zara here already,” said Clark, who summers in southern France. “I guess it’s cool that some of these old people like to play pickleball too.”
At press time, a confused pickleball player was just in it for the pickles.
