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The Brown Noser

Pig Has No Fucking Clue Why He Can Find Truffles Either

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Area pig Torvald has no fucking clue why he can find truffles either.

As he trotted purposefully through a thick forest vigorously sniffing to detect the famous mushroom delicacy, Torvald expressed bewilderment at his abilities.

“It doesn’t make any goddamn sense but here I am,” Torvald grunted. “For some reason the thing I am best at in the entire world is sniffing out this one kind of mushroom. What even is that?”

The hog has been searching for truffles seasonally for most of his life, often traveling miles to follow a scent and digging several feet underground to retrieve the fungus.

“The craziest thing is I don’t even like truffles,” Torvald snorted. “I can smell them from so far away but they don’t even smell good. They definitely don’t smell bad either, but it’s just like why this particular thing? And why me?”

At press time, Torvald planned to unwind by rolling around in mud and his own feces before searching for more of the rare delicacy.

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