Sources report that Brown University admin have put plants on the front of the stage to indicate that they’re not fucking around.
“Someone important must be here to speak,” said freshman Ian Johnson as he passed by the Salomon auditorium, noticing the diverse and elaborate display
of flora lining the front of the stage. “A potential presidential candidate? Maybe a prestigious alum? I hope it’s a Hollywood celebrity.”
“The University really pulled out all the stops for this one,” continued Johnson, craning his neck for a better view of the lush green vegetation around the perimeter of the stage. “Where do they keep all these plants? They must be serious.”
At press time, a chocolate strawberry display set up in the Ratty for parents’ weekend was demonstrating that the University is classy as hell.

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