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A recent poll of the toy chest found that nearly three quarters of the residents of TrainTown are unhappy with their pre-adolescent God-King Billy, who has drawn fire for his capricious and often brutal leadership style.
Billy’s administration has been wracked with scandal, from January’s Pokemongate to last month’s mass beheadings and subsequent mixed-up reheadings.
“Why should we be the ones who suffer just because his mom won’t peel his grapes for him?” questioned local tank engine Thomas through a perpetual, paranoid smile. “I swear he’s only gotten worse since he started losing his baby teeth.”
Close to 40 percent of those surveyed cited Billy’s failure to respond to earthquakes he himself causes as the biggest problem facing the child’s theocratic, totalitarian administration, while 32 percent said that the recent immigration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had ignited racial tensions. 12 percent worried that TrainTown’s delicate closed economy would collapse if Billy continued on his course of strict isolationism and crying loudly whenever something goes wrong.
“That’s just the start of it,” reported sometimes starship pilot Mary the Baker’s Wife, who was recently laid down on the tracks and run over by the train fourteen times before Billy finally lost interest and went to see what cartoons were on. “I haven’t seen Fred the Baker since Tuesday. I just pray to Billy he hasn’t been exiled under the bed like the others.”
Though a record low for Billy, the omnipotent theocrat still boasts higher numbers than his two-year-old sister, the feared Daemon-Emperor Susie, who chewed through 34 percent of TrainTown in a vicious reign of terror that stretched from naptime to dinner.
