Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Portia Di Rossi Really Fucking Tired Of Ellen’s Pranks

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

According to sources close to Portia Di Rossi and Ellen Degeneres, Di Rossi is really fucking tired of Ellen’s pranks.

“She just keeps pranking me,” explained Di Rossi. “She loves scaring people so much. And it’s funny when you’re watching it on TV, but it’s not funny when it’s in your home and it’s your wife. I’m always on edge. Especially at dinner. There have just been too many times she’s had someone sneak up behind me at the dinner table and scream in my ear.”

“Nowhere is safe,” continued Di Rossi. “I can’t sit on the living room couch closest to the coffee table because I KNOW someone is going to pop out of our coffee table. It’s not too much to ask for some sort of boundary between work and home.”

At press time, Degeneres was hiding behind their front door to jump out and scare Di Rossi when she got home.

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