Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to reports out of central Ohio, residents of the poverty stricken rust belt town Bisdake Falls seem to be completely unaware of the resale value of their well-worn Carhartt jackets.
“Ever since they shut down the steel mill, this town’s been on a downward spiral,” said Bisdake Falls local, Chuck Warbler, apparently oblivious to the fact that he could sell the faded black Carhartt jacket he’s wearing and pay off his mortgage. “It feels like everyone’s forgotten about Bisdake.”
“The kids call it Mistake Falls because anyone who ends up in this town can only have come by accident,” continued Warbler, slipping his hands into the pockets of a fleece-lined canvas jacket that could pay his kid’s way through college if he sold it to any 19 year old from Brookline. “This town has lost its sense of pride.”
“The jobs and infrastructure were one thing, but when we lost hope, that’s what really killed Bisdake,” added Warbler, clueless to the life changing payday he could reap by advertising his work clothes on Vinted. “Nothing good ever happens here.”
At press time the residents of a razed tornado alley suburb were unaware how valuable the destruction will be to the town’s memoirists.
