Prehistoric tech bro Grok announced this week that he was looking for investors for his new line of arrowheads.

“I know these supposedly take away jobs from hunter-gatherers who use their fists,” said Grok through a string of unintelligible grunts and hand gestures. “But they’re the next big thing, and you can get shares for just two mammoth tusks each.”

“Yes, they used to break the first time you shot a sabertooth, but I’ve got all the kinks worked out,” roared Grok while painting flyers on his cave wall in sheep’s blood. “The guy who discovered fire is one of my primary backers, so you know it’s legit.”

“And I can assure you that I myself am very qualified,” growled Grok while updating the resume he carved into a tortoise shell. “My skills include rune casting fluency and proficiency with really sharp rocks. I also have working experience in surviving giant sloth attacks.”

At press time, a Victorian film bro wouldn’t stop talking about his favorite magic lantern show.

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