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The Brown Noser

Professor Still Referencing Jeremy’s Answer From First Class

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Sources in ENGL1050: American Novels have reported that, as of Thursday, professor Dan Garland was still referencing Jeremy’s answer from the first class.

“If we remember what Jeremy said in our first meeting,” Garland told his class, gesturing towards Jeremy Connelly ’23 as they discussed Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. “It’s important to remember that Captain Ahab is the driving force of the novel’s action.”

Although the class has been discussing Slaughterhouse-Five since February, sources report that Professor Garland finds ways to continuously bring discussion back to Jeremy’s singular, yet well-received, answer from shopping period.

“Some of the points in Chapter 4 can even be brought all the way back to our lectures on Melville,” Garland said, scanning the lecture hall for Jeremy in the hopes of singling him out yet again. “Something that, if you remember, Jeremy articulated really well during the first week of class.”

At press time, Professor Garland was preemptively giving Jeremy a 100% for class participation.

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