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The Brown Noser

Professor’s Office Hours Whenever Wind Whistles Through The Old Elm Tree

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

According to her page on the department website, Adjunct Professor of English Constance Hunting holds office hours whenever the wind whistles through the old elm tree near her office.

“There were no times listed on the syllabus,” explained Sam Arnold, a junior in Professor Hunting’s “Time, Place, and Pain in Fiction” seminar. “There was just a picture of the wind god Aeolus exerting his power over the spirits of the gale, and a link to an audio clip of leaves rustling.”

“You kind of have to time it right if you want to meet with her,” Arnold continued, running full tilt towards the English building as a slight breeze chilled the Providence air. “She’s literally only there when the wind is whistling, and if it stops whistling, she’ll just stop talking to you and go inside again. We’re supposed to get a storm tomorrow, so maybe I can get some feedback on my essay.”

“I’ve found fixed weekly office hours to be restrictive,” said Professor Hunting, glancing at the barometer on her desk. “Different time zones can make set office hours inaccessible. Which is why I leap out my window and answer my students’ questions whenever the branches of the elm tree rattle in a gust of winter air. Except Thursdays. I can’t do Thursdays.”

At press time, Professor of International Relations Nathaniel Hill was holding office hours every time the United States embroiled itself in a new overseas conflict.

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