Upon reviewing the prospective host’s career history, the Fox News talent department was impressed by Peter Garbenson’s extensive Wikipedia “controversies” section. “At first, I couldn’t find much information on Mr. Garbenson," said a Fox recruiter, noting that the candidate has all the experience and qualifications that make a successful Fox host, boasting a whole year and a half at journalism school before getting kicked out for plagiarizing Ayn Rand. “But when I pressed that little down arrow to show his ‘controversies’ on Wikipedia, the article quadrupled in length. I had no idea how experienced he was. You should have seen how tiny the scroll bar got." At press time, Garbenson’s application was strengthened when an image of him poaching an endangered rhino surfaced online.

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