Standing in their backyard on a picturesque autumn day, psychotic father and son Joseph and Mikey Thompson sweetly played their first game of catch the recently severed human hand, sources confirmed Sunday. “There’s nothing like tossing around a misbehaving postman’s hand with your boy on a beautiful afternoon,” a sweaty and unblinking Joseph Thompson said, while his adorable and impish 6-year-old son nodded and tossed the festering limb back to his father. “Bring your hand just above your shoulder and get some force behind that hand. Toss it right here into my arms. Feel the suppurating flesh. Smell the hand. We should come to understand his sin through play.” Sources reported that the Thompsons played catch for another six hours before eventually retiring for a short game of goat’s head soccer and a fresh bowl of mom’s squash and postman’s eyeballs soup.

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