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The Brown Noser

Pulitzer Prize Winner Donna Tartt Hoping To Finally Be Allowed Into Lit Arts Class Next Semester

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

Donna Tartt, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Goldfinch, is hoping to finally be allowed into a Literary Arts class next semester, sources report.

“I’ve been submitting writing samples for several semesters now,” said Ms. Tartt, whose books have sold over 10 million copies in the last thirty years. “No luck so far, but I did make it onto a waitlist last semester for Introduction to Fiction, which was a step.”

“Something tells me that next semester is the one,” stated Ms. Tartt, who was named one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World by Time Magazine in 2014. “I’m very eager to learn about compelling hooks and effective plotting, and having my work critiqued by eighteen-year-olds from Los Angeles would be so useful! Fingers crossed.”

At press time, the ghost of Orson Welles had finally landed a spot in Introduction to Screenwriting.

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