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Noting that the young boy is shy but knowledgeable when it comes to advanced military technology, sources confirmed today that quiet seventh-grader Andreas Miller sure knows a lot about tactical warfare.
“Andreas was sitting at our lunch table today and unprompted just launched into this detailed description of Gulf War-era land combat tactics,” said classmate Nick Grigsby, who vaguely knows Miller but had never heard him talk before. “He’s usually pretty reserved, but he got this look in his eye and started in about M60 Patton medium tank desant usage during Operation Desert Storm. Inverted wedges combined with armored spearheads, something like that.”
“It’s the only conversation we’ve ever had,” Grigsby added.
Sources who know Miller noted that the 12-year-old rarely speaks at all, but would likely be willing to talk for an extended period of time about strategic hamlets in Laos, amphibious landings, and various sea and air vehicle formations used by the U.S. military from the early 1970s and to the present. He also reportedly loves to draw pictures of tanks and aircraft carriers.
“The other day Andreas raised his hand and started talking about Operation Desert Storm,” said math teacher Miriam Gale, who noted that Miller is always carrying around Tom Clancy novels and making gun noises. “I told him he shouldn’t talk about this stuff when we’re doing fractions, and he just walked to the front of the room and handed me a pretty well-drawn picture of some F15 fighter jets in four-finger formation. Under the picture he had an eight-point list of tactical proceedings, with subheadings for contingency plans.”
“The detail was impeccable,” Gale added. “I still have the picture.”
“M4A1 carbine, Steyr Aug and the bullpup are my favorite guns to use for targeted raids on high-valued targets,” Miller told reporters when asked about his interest in tactical warfare. “Pincer breach, quick flank, tango down. Bullseye. Blacker than black. I want to be a member of an elite counter-terrorism unit when I grow up, like John Clark in ‘Rainbow Six.’ That’d be so cool.”
“I play Airsoft,” he added. “It’s fun.”
At press time, Andreas could be seen alone at recess throwing imaginary grenades near the kickball field, shouting, “Fire in the hole!”
