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The Brown Noser

Report: All Of Your Hottest, Most Successful Friends Follow The Brown Noser On Instagram

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

A new report has found that all of your hottest, most successful friends follow The Brown Noser on Instagram. “There’s no doubt about it—the sexiest, most high-achieving individuals in your social circle all have one thing in common: following The Brown Noser’s Instagram account, @thebrownnoser,” the report stated, adding that the hottest, coolest friends took it a step further and liked every post from the account. “In fact, our findings were so conclusive that you can safely assume that following the account yourself will instantly make you hotter, more successful, and incredibly popular.” At press time, those that told their friends to follow the account were blessed with 20 years of good luck.

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