Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

REPORT: Teenagers Of Today Have No Memory Of Iconic Hindenburg Disaster

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

A comprehensive national study has uncovered the fact that absolutely no teenagers in today’s society remember the iconic Hindenburg Disaster.

“It just goes to show how difficult it is keeping these kids informed,” says local historian Bob Smallet, admiring a photograph of the famous zeppelin accident. “The Hindenburg was a rallying cry to end airship investment, and today’s teens weren’t even around to see it? Dreadful.”

Even the oldest living teenagers, at age 19, were born in 1997, a full 60 years after the horrifying spectacle that was the Hindenburg disaster. None of a set of polled teens were able to correctly identify the model “Luftschiff Zeppelin #129,“ which was imprinted in the minds of all Americans that fateful day, nor could they name the son-of-a-bitch captain Ernst Lehmann who let it all happen.

“Watching the Hindenburg reels chilled me to the core,” says high school politics teacher Kim Drexel. “If our teens can’t draw upon that memory of a blimp descending from the sky, trailing smoke and flames, how will know to stay away from dirigible-based travel? I worry for their futures.”

In light of the recent poll, American Airlines has planned to remove their “Fly Here, Not Hindenburg” Internet ad campaign for fear of irrelevance.

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