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The Brown Noser

RIPTA Driver Unsuccessful in Leading Bus 34 Sing-Along

Published Friday, October 25th, 2019

According to witnesses, local RIPTA driver Todd Jenson was unsuccessful in leading a sing-along on bus 34 last Thursday.

“I guess that no one knows the Brady Bunch theme song anymore,” Jenson said with a disappointed sigh. “We were going down the Thayer tunnel, and I just wanted to liven the late-afternoon blues with some happy tunes.”

According to reports, bus 34’s passengers were completely unresponsive, with one woman turning up the music on her headphones and another young man angrily threatening to “pull the cord” if the singing persisted.

“Maybe if I drove bus 60 things would be different,” Jenson added, forlornly staring out his front windshield at the traffic ahead. “Now those are some fun-loving folks. They would definitely be up for a call-and-response number.”

According to reports, Jenson ended his shift with a last-ditch attempt to lead a rendition of “This Land is Your Land,” taking his hands from the wheel to initiate a bus-wide rhythmic clap.

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