Recent reports indicate that a local dog is only being kept 30% dry by its little raincoat. “But just look at how cute he is in his little coat!” said Carrie Happis in reference to her sopping wet dog, Bugsy. “He might be getting a little wet, but nothing a little towel action can’t fix!”

“Initially, I thought I was overpaying for this raincoat. But its effective rain protection is second to none!” Happis continued, boasting more impressive facts about the raincoat that leaves Bugsy’s entire head, paws, and ass exposed to the rain. “You can’t be stingy when it comes to keeping poor little Bugsy out of the rain!”

“The important thing is that we’re keeping Bugsy’s most important parts dry!” Happis added, glossing over the fact that Bugsy, like the Earth, is 70% covered in water, “What would we do without your wittle rain gear, my little Buggy Boy?”

At press time, Happis’ raincoat conveniently covered 100% of her upper body.

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