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In an exclusive interview leaked from a higher plane of reality with propagandists Ron Partridge and Susan Mack, the entire space-time continuum native to our universe was revealed to be an elaborate anti-Semitic propagandistic miniseries, produced by the extremely racist government of the United Parallel States of America.
“We started with just a handful of negative Jewish antagonists—your Madoffs, your Liebermans, your Julius and Ethel Rosenbergs,” explained Partridge. “But we quickly realized we couldn’t really convince U.P.S.A. citizens of the evils of the Jew without a more fleshed-out backstory. As our conception of the announcement’s scope expanded, it developed into a full-on pocket universe, as these things are wont to do.”
Mack noted that some members of Parallel Congress had voiced concern over the massive cost overruns entailed in engineering a parallel reality and designing transdimensional cameras and boom mics. She dismissed these Parallel Congressmen as “probably Jews.”
“It wasn’t easy, scripting 6,000 years of civilization and 13 billion years of fictional geology and cosmology,” said Mack. “It was even harder to make every aspect of that geology reflect poorly on the Jews. But it’s that kind of detail that really draws viewers into a story, especially a fundamentally anti-Semitic one.”
“Ever wonder why water boils at 100 degrees Celsius?” added Mack. “You’ll find out. And it will not reflect well on Judaism as a religion.”
Mack then teased an upcoming storyline in which various Jews misleadingly portrayed as positive role models, including Albert Einstein, Steven Sondheim, agricultural policy activist Michael Pollan, Sandy Koufax, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, are revealed to have been part of a massive conspiracy tasked with engineering all the world’s wars and inventing disease.
“We even have this fun little plot device, where for a little while we leave it ambiguous whether the Jews really are the bad guys,” said Partridge. “And then in 2015, bam, they crash the economy and involve into omnipotent incorporeal demons. That’ll cause our parallel kids to think twice before they talk about letting them own property.”
The series has become a cultural sensation in the U.P.S.A., spawning a novelization and an extensive set of spinoffs on the metauniverse’s dominant media format, Betamax. Protagonists Stormtrooper Scott, Pyotr the Pogrom Instigator, and Ku Klux Klan Founder Nathan Bedford Forest have become cultural icons with bestselling action figures, and the show has received steadily positive reviews from the prestigious film criticism institution “Ain’t It Cool Parallel News.” The program was also recently lauded by the Parallel Parents Television Council for the anti-drug message conveyed in a 1920s subplot about Jewish bootleggers.
With ratings higher than ever, the miniseries/pocket universe’s creators show no signs of slowing down. “With the pocket universe’s members now aware of the nature of their faux-reality, we have whole new avenues to explore,” said Mack. “Our viewers will come to see this program as not just a reminder that Jerusalem must belong forever to the Muslims, but as an audacious experiment in storytelling that questions the very nature of what we call ‘reality.’”
Added Mack, “And just wait until they see how the Jews react!”
