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The Brown Noser

Record-Breaking 23-Minute-Long Standing Ovation At Cannes Film Festival Receives 8-Minute-Long Standing Ovation

Published Friday, September 27th, 2024

According to attendees of the Cannes Film Festival, visionary director Jacques Bijoux’s latest avante-garde film received a record-shattering 23-minute-long standing ovation, which further received an 8-minute-long standing ovation.

“That was a transcendent experience,” claimed long-time standing ovation enthusiast Peter Greene, as he wiped blood off his raw, blistered palms. “The applause was beautiful. The claps harmonized into a seamless echo, a cascade of sound and emotion raining over me.”

“The second ovation seemed to take on a life of its own, as people applauded not the film but their own collective feat. It was entirely merited,” Greene reflected, as he beamed at his stopwatch with tears streaming down his face. “True art challenges its beholders, stretching their capacity for both perception and endurance.”

At press time, a five-star review of Bijoux’s film was being given a three-star review.

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