Tuesday, April 25, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Red Sox Decide They're Just Going To Bunt From Now On

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

At a press conference last Saturday, Red Sox General Manager John Farrell announced that the team would just be bunting from now on. “Hitting is really hard and I’ve been toying around with this idea for a while,” said Farrell, explaining that bunting just feels safer. “We tried it out at spring training and it made the game feel much more relaxed and comfortable. There’s not that big of a difference between bunting and swinging. Both move the ball, one just gets it a little farther. So what? There are nine innings in a game, we’ll move the ball plenty just by bunting. I’ve never felt more confident in our chances of winning the pennant.” At press time, everyone sitting on the Green Monster was straining to see all the game play going on between home plate and the pitcher’s mound.

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