Local woman Meghan Donovan has started referring to her regular depression as “seasonal” now that it’s October.
“It’s just been so hard finding joy in my life now that it’s cloudy and cold all the time and my seasonal depression is kicking in,” said Donovan, ignoring the fact that she’s taken Prozac every morning for the past three years. “At the end of the day, I just curl up in my bed and try not to think about the inevitability of my mortality, but only because the sun sets by seven o’clock now. I swear, if it was 70 degrees and sunny, I’d be a totally different person.”
“And I won’t be able to leave my room anytime soon since there’s rain in the forecast for the next four days,” sighed Donovan, who has rarely left her room since May. “I hate what this month specifically does to my mental health.”
At press time, local man James Torin was calling his constant state of frenzy a “mid-life crisis” now that he’s 40.

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