Sunday, April 14, 2024
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The Brown Noser

Report: Aunt Makes Jewelry Now

Published Friday, April 14th, 2023

After calling her sister, your mom has informed you that Aunt Rose makes jewelry now.

“Some of her pieces are really…unique,” stated your mom after Aunt Rose described the beaded labia pendants she was working on. “It’s a lot of copper wire, amethyst, and rope. You should ask her for some pictures.”

“It’s kind of the perfect hobby for Aunt Rose because she was finally able to find a use for all the crystals she has,” claimed Mom as she browsed your Aunt’s Instagram page, which is mostly pictures of herbal tea and infographics on sound cleansing. “Plus, she got to leverage that macrame skill she developed when she made all of those hanging planters.”

At press time, the family was mostly relieved that Aunt Rose had abandoned her old hobby of painting those scary, realistic baby dolls.

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