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Concluding that it was a surefire way to win a woman’s heart, a report released earlier this week found that every single girl who has ever had a love song written about her ended up hearing the song and subsequently falling in love with the guy who wrote the song.
“It makes sense when you think about it,” said lead researcher Henry Inbrook. “Girls like cool guys, and writing songs is a cool thing to do.”
“Our team looked at data collected from thousands of love songs,” Inbrook explained. “Everything from songs that make the Top 40 to songs that were played at an open mic once or maybe just released on Bandcamp. In every single instance, the feelings were requited and acted upon.”
The report found that regardless of singing talent, guitar-playing ability, or song genre, in 100 percent of cases where a guy wrote a love song for a girl, the two are now happily dating, or even married.
A related, forthcoming report is rumored to show that every guy who’s ever written a break up song for a girl has either won her back or come to terms with the situation and moved on immediately.
