According to area woman Claire Rinkle, she is saying ‘fuck it’ and eating the little bit of paper that’s still stuck to her cough drop. “I’ve been carrying the bag of cough drops around in my purse for a few months, and I guess at some point they kind of melted together. Whatever. A little piece of paper is probably fine to eat,” stated Rinkle as she gave up trying to peel up the scrap with her fingernail. “My throat hurts, so I’m already at rock bottom. I guess paper is probably good for you, because of fiber and shit. Honestly, I don’t really care anymore.” At press time, Rinkle was just gonna eat around the little bit of mold she found on her sandwich.

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