Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources confirmed that Oscar, the local german shepherd known for holstering a bazooka in his eager maw, probably shouldn’t have that bazooka.
“In my experience, dogs and military-grade armaments are rarely a good mix,” said dog walker Blake Martin, as Oscar fired off an armor-penetrating shell from his bazooka that would surely reduce any nearby squirrel into a fine red mist. “I try to keep them apart whenever possible, frankly.”
“Of course, he’s definitely not a bad dog or anything like that,” continued Martin, while Oscar reloaded with bazooka with the kind of efficiency that could only come from extensive paramilitary experience. “It’s just that if it were my dog, I’d want to consider confiscating that bazooka.”
At press time, sources reported that an emu carrying a flamethrower should maybe reconsider carrying that flamethrower.
