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The Brown Noser

Report: Kids Always Bonking Their Heads On Things

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

Confirming what many had long expected, researchers from Harvard University announced on Friday that kids are always bonking their heads on things. "After months of extensive observation, we are able to definitively conclude that kids hit their heads on stuff as if it’s their job,” said head researcher Mitchell Cranston, putting an ice pack on his toddler, who literally just hurt himself. “To be clear, kids also whack their heads on stuff, but it is far less common. The bottom line is parents should keep an eye on their children, but not worry too much because a little bop has never hurt anyone.” At press time, Cranston was searching for a band-aid.

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