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The Brown Noser

Report: The Snake’s Out

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

According to screamed reports, the snake is out.

“I don’t know how it did that,” said one source, frantically checking their surroundings. “Did somebody open the cage?”

When pressed, sources speculated the snake “Could be anywhere, even in the vents. My God, the vents!”

Everyone interviewed confirmed that the snake is and has always been the responsibility of the Snake Guy, who could not be located for this report but is certainly small enough to fit inside the snake.

At press time, multiple sources had confirmed that the tarantula farm is also empty.

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