Sources at the city zoo report that the Fifi the orangutan’s eyes are especially mournful. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but honestly, it bummed me out a bit,” stated zoo-goer Jeff Rango as Fifi slowly raised a massive hand to the glass window of her enclosure. “Maybe she doesn’t want to be confined to a cement box for decades until she eventually just dies. But then again, maybe she just looks sad!” At press time, Rango was banging on the glass to get the orangutan’s attention.

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