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The Brown Noser

Residential Counselor Forces Unit to Reapply Hair Left in Shower

Published Friday, November 4th, 2011

Residential Counselor Carrie Carson ’13 was furious last weekend when she once again found accumulated clumps of knotted hair on the floor in the hall shower. Carson said that, in order to teach her freshmen a lesson, she has required that each wet ball of hair be reattached to a part of a student that could have shed it.

Despite the effectiveness of the system, students in Carson’s hall have expressed resentment toward the method by which they are being taught.

“She literally has no idea whose hair it is, so she just pins down the first student that she sees and then superglues a wad of somebody’s hair to their head, legs, chest or wherever,” said George Patterson ’15. “When she did it to me, I tried to peel off the hair from my chest afterwards, and it ripped off a patch of skin.”

Phillip Hugh ’15 said that he woke up one Monday morning to find a blonde mustache fastened to his upper lip with industrial-grade epoxy resin.

“You don’t even know what part of the body that hair came from,” Hugh said. “And look, I have black hair.”

Carson maintains that once students see that their hall showers are much cleaner, they will be grateful for her non-confrontational problem solving, a skill that she tries to teach her hall by example.

“Like even Jack — whom I followed into the shower and then took the hair from the drain right beneath him and repeatedly stapled clumps of it to his upper back while he was running out — even Jack will really appreciate what I’m doing for the quality of our restrooms,” Carson said.

Parker Wakefield ’15, who had three tufts of black hair sewed onto to the lower part of his abdomen, said that he feels the punishment was actually a convenient addition to his happy trail.

“I’d always hoped I could get some more hair down there,” Wakefield said. “I really appreciate what my RC did for my image, which, granted, was lacking a little volume before.”

The Office of Residential Life has praised Carson’s leadership as “genius” and “inventive,” a “much needed reminder of why we have residential counselors in the first place.”

“I think a lot of RCs don’t take their jobs that seriously and just want to live in a single this year,” Berpson said. “But I think it’s our responsibility to teach these kids how to take care of their facilities, problem solve without violence and use various adhesives to fasten discarded hair to the body parts of their peers.”

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